Summer of 2010 Ending

And so concludes another summer :]

This summer was pretty magnificent actually. I got a boyfriend who's absolutely fantastic. I got kidnapped by my friends just about every single day. Anddddd I spent time with my sister. LOL i didn't do ANY hw til the last week of summer xD I've been working on it 24/7!!! I didn't even finish, but oh well :P
Anyway, just to keep it short today, tomorrow I have school so I should actually be in bed right now hahaha.


Later Aligator

Sigh

One word... conflicted :P


fml

Whataya Want From Me?

Okay, look, I know I'm weird, okay? I get it... I just need you to be accepting of that. I know it's hard, I know I'm stupid, I know I'm not perfect or what you want me to be. But I can't change who I am. And if you don't like it, then things won't work out between us.
Yes. I am a freak. Yes. I am weird. Maybe too weird for you to handle, but this is me. And I'm sorry, okay? Whataya want from me?
I just need you to keep holding on, okay? I'll try not to be so weird anymore, okay? But, it's not going to go way. I'll always have it.
And I'm sorry to my parents. I'm sorry I'm not fucking perfect and that I am not what you want me to be. I'm sorry. Period. I'm sorry for being born even if that's what it's going to boil down to. I'm weird. No. I'm not girly. No. I'm not my sister. No. I'm not perfect. Yes. I am emotional and overly sensitive. And YES. I AM PARANOID!!! okay???
I over analyse things. I go overboard on things. I take things to the extreme. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not normal like everyone else and that I'm just stupid goddamn __(not going to say my name)____. Alright? Is that good enough for you now?
I'm sorry I'm not pretty and beautiful and awesome like my sister is, okay? I'm sorry I'm just the stupid let down that I am. I'm sorry that I'm the pain in the ass that nobody wants. Okay? I know already. No need to tell me. I don't need you to remind me.
I'm a freak. I've accepted that about myself. Now I need to know that you can too. And if you can't... then just fuck off.

Cause I'm sick of it...

And Summer Begins

Summer is here at last.
A lot of my friends graduated this year. Oh well, I'll be seeing them around anyway. I'm also pretty excited for next year. It should be really fun with all of the classes I'll be taking. And you know what else is fantastic? My mom, my sister, and I are going to Hawaii this summer. WITHOUT DAD!!! xD lol We're going to have so much fun. This will be my first time going to Hawaii :]
I also have other news. I have a boyfriend <3
He's so sweet. I can't find anything wrong with him lol. Typically by now I can find something that I don't like about a guy, but there hasn't been anything with this one. We went ice skating a few days ago. It was so much fun. He was literally skating circles around me though hahaha. Thanks to him I can actually skate without holding onto the rail for dear life. He would hold my hands and start skating backwards really fast and when we took breaks in between laps every now and then, we were busy making-out.
So let's see, some things about him... He loves K-pop and dancing. His favorite color is blue. He wants to learn Korean. He's Canto. He's really sweet and really hott. Besides weight training, he likes english and history. He's kinda shy. He loves rice. His favorite member of Big Bang (also his favorite group if he had to choose one) is Tae Yang. And I'm not going to list everything, so I'll stop there xD
Also, new music to look forward to in July. VAMPS is coming out with their second album BEAST!!!! I can't wait~~~ <3 Hyde's music never fails.


Summer, Here we come!

Other Random Quick Sketches

Art Projects Over 2010 School Year

There was a self portrait we did too, except mine was entered into a contest and it lost by the way, but it's still hanging up in some office in Palo Alto. :P

Yes, No, Well, Maybe, No... Y-Yes...

I am so conflicted. There's this guy and I cannot fathom to you how good he's been to me. I've known the guy all though high school and he's liked me for God knows how long. He can be a complete and total asshole sometimes, but others he's the sweetest. If he sees that I'm about to cry, he'll sit with me and play happy music on his ipod for me till I'm okay. He's ALWAYS there for me. He understands my life and who and how I am and accepts it. But... it's just that we have such a great relationship right now, that I don't want to risk ruining it. The guy is practically in love with me. He's never gone out with any other girls in high school. I just... don't want to be another one of those girls who broke his heart in the end. He's not just a guy like my past boyfriends, he's special to me. He's me friend, and I don't want to loose that. I don't want to have to hurt him. I'm not concerned with myself here, I'm worried about him. He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve or anything, far from it, but, he still has feelings too, you know? I really care about him. A lot. And he really cares about me. A lot. I just don't want to ruin that.

But then again... what if I end up really happy with him? What if he really is the one for me? On my "Perfect Boyfriend" Check List he only has ONE thing crossed out, and that's only because he's not Asian. The rest he either has it, sorta has it, or it doesn't apply yet. He's definitely not my type look wise, but he does have the other qualities. Although when he wears his glasses he looks kinda cute. I love the color of his eyes.

My Mom says no, because I flip-flop too much on the guys I like. I fall in love really fast, and I fall out of love really fast. But the things is, is that he's not like the other guys, I actually KNOW him. I know who he is, his likes, dislikes. He's obsessed with guitar and bikes. She says that she just doesn't want to see me get hurt.
My little sister says yes, because love is all about taking risks and we both have a strong relationship right now. We're comfortable with each other.
I don't know what to do. Not only that, I have to consider what this would do to my friendship with one of my best friends. Me and him are both scared of what she'd say.
So, yeah, I don't know. Anyone have any suggestions, comments, or input?


We kinda have a song... Death Cab for Cutie- I'll Follow You Into the Dark